High-tech Tastemaker Gifts

"With his augmented reality headset he's actually eating in a five star restaurant."

It turns out they don't go together so well,

Harsh Mellows.

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

"Now, in contrast to the last olive oil you tasted, this one is infused with sixty-five more dollars."

And then in Italy. . . "But I really don't like bubblegum gelato."

Wine Tasting and Wine Guzzling

"Your meal sounded nice."

Veggie Hall of Fame.

"I detect a subtle bouquet of money."

'Look, I know it's artificial orange, but you're sick, I say, sick.'

"For the first half hour, I was, like, really there. Enchanted. But I found the wild-quail confit so disappointing that not even the fig reduction on the poached pear could get me back."

Avocado Timeline

Real coffee vs usual vending machine stuff

Starbucks doubles its sales by devising a way to sell coffee over the Internet,

'After you with the camouflage.'

'I'd recommend the white wine.'

'Why do my parents have to be professional chefs?!'

'...or, if you're watching your cholesterol, we also have thousand-year-old egg substitutes.'

'Here ya' go, sweetie. Our Key Lime Pie.'

Big Burgers.

"One man's dirty water is another man's Earl Grey."

"It's all good – but some of it is better."

'My Lee's creative with food. He always customizes his toppings when we phone for pizza.'

"What would you serve with toast?"

"I am listening to my body. My body says yuk!"

"Do you know our soup is world renowned?"

"Jeffrey eats everything, Mom, because no one has told him what he doesn't like."

'This sugar substitute is perfect except for one thing. It's salty.'

"Robust, full-bodied bouquet with just a hint of bitter, mean-spirited despair."

It's not a tongue depressor, it's a used popsicle stick. If you can name the flavor, your taste buds pass the test.

'You look bored, sir - How about the Chef's Surprise?'

'To you it may contain 'a surfeit of soluble, optically active carbohydrates derives from higher alcohols'. To me, it's sweet.'

'Give me the horse meat stew, at least that way I'll know what I'm eating.'

"Are you looking for 'drinks and nibbles' beer, 'I don't really drink beer' beer, or good old fashioned 'gidday mate' beer?"