High Street Strategist Pillows

Planning Office - Acquired by Tesco

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

'Investment charts can be complicated, son, but that usually means, 'bonuses'.'

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

'I think I know what the problem is!'

Investments - Founders Bear and Bull.

'When investment bankers give parental advice'

"Ed and Helen's portfolio rose 3 point today on Dave's purchase of 100 shares..."

Our Motto: Buy Low Sell High is the Best Revenge.'

Hedge fund sharks attacking 'The Markets' ship.

Only One Item or Fewer.

Aggressive growth fund loses money shorting gold.

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

"No, we can't get you a new toy every time we go shopping."

'Competition is good...unless it's too good.'

Holiday Sales: The Starting Line

The Invisible Hand of the Market

"If you really must know, Junior, yes, you were a market correction."

'I decided to start buying food in bulk. I hope you're hungry!'

"Yes, but I'll know it's a recliner."

'We were in the right place at the right time but, unfortunately, we were in the wrong time zone.'

It was a good chance to get together and talk shop.

Shampoo and Salad Dressing.

"I'll throw in a few extra pinstripes."

Inflation Is Up, Interest Rates Are Going Up. . . I'm Asking You To UP Your Donation.

Diets: Sweets and Biscuits.

Hard Hat Area/Hard Nosed Area.

'Good news! I think we can make your portfolio quite bearable.'

'Profit in the garbage.'

'Have you been talking to someone, Jenkins?'

"Consumer confidence remains high as long as we keep them distracted buying stuff."

'I've got it written down...'

Shareholders Meeting - We will be paying a dividend but I will not be announcing it here.

'Retirement Training Program'"Very good, Larry! Just one more step and you'll have the entire aisle blocked!"