High Street Strategist T-Shirts

Planning Office - Acquired by Tesco

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

'Investment charts can be complicated, son, but that usually means, 'bonuses'.'

'I think I know what the problem is!'

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

Investments - Founders Bear and Bull.

'When investment bankers give parental advice'

Our Motto: Buy Low Sell High is the Best Revenge.'

"Ed and Helen's portfolio rose 3 point today on Dave's purchase of 100 shares..."

Hedge fund sharks attacking 'The Markets' ship.

"No, we can't get you a new toy every time we go shopping."

Only One Item or Fewer.

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

Aggressive growth fund loses money shorting gold.

'Competition is good...unless it's too good.'

"Yes, but I'll know it's a recliner."

"If you really must know, Junior, yes, you were a market correction."

Holiday Sales: The Starting Line

'I decided to start buying food in bulk. I hope you're hungry!'

Standard And P****d.

The Invisible Hand of the Market

'We were in the right place at the right time but, unfortunately, we were in the wrong time zone.'

It was a good chance to get together and talk shop.

Shampoo and Salad Dressing.

"I'll throw in a few extra pinstripes."

Inflation Is Up, Interest Rates Are Going Up. . . I'm Asking You To UP Your Donation.

Diets: Sweets and Biscuits.

Shareholders Meeting - We will be paying a dividend but I will not be announcing it here.

Hard Hat Area/Hard Nosed Area.

'Have you been talking to someone, Jenkins?'

'Good news! I think we can make your portfolio quite bearable.'

"Consumer confidence remains high as long as we keep them distracted buying stuff."

Supermarket Merge

'I've got it written down...'

'Profit in the garbage.'