High Standards Haver Gifts

'I think your father's had one of his big ideas...'

Can I give you a slice of the action?

"Let's face it. The only play you've ever liked is 'Stop the World - I Want to Get Off.'"

'He's gonna dunk on me. I just know it.'

'He's a real high flyer!'

'He's not here right now. He's out pumping iron.'

You will always find a spot to garden

"The downside of living in the wild is that I need to shear myself now. Boy, do I now appreciate the skill professional shearers have: it's hard!"

"Wow, I'm upset. I didn't think I could get upset anymore... crazy."

"Touch that and you're a dead man."

'She's so posh, she can make her wind sound like Verdi's 'Requiem'.'

A granny tortoise with a quilted shell.

Your son knows three computer languages, but he's flunking English.

"The jelly required a soupçon more texture on the custard was on the wrong side of sweet."

'This food is revolting. And such small portions.'

Quality Family Time.

"Have you considered spinal fusion?"

'I wasn't really stretching myself.'

"It's for my mother. Just wrap it in an envelope with return postage."

Beaver to other about eaten trees: 'Sorry about the maple trees - I have a sweet tooth.'

"Good dog. Good dog."

'I think I'll just leave a hate tip,'

I don't think your heart's in the hospitality game.

'Book of Virtues'...'Book of Vices'

The card room at Bath

"We're hoping he'll end up on the street - Harley, Downing, Wall..."

Windows are just for show.

We want to put all our money into bricks.

"I was at the top of my game for a while but it gave me nosebleeds."

"'Good' is not enough."

Al's punditry barn