High Self-esteem Enthusiast Pillows

'I need something that will raise my energy level but not my self esteem - I'm already full of myself.'

"I was young and cocky because I wasn't aware of my shortcomings. Now I'm old and cocky because I can't remember what they are."

'Miss Pym, we've made a smaller loss than last year, order me a much larger desk.'

"Yet she never gains an ounce."

PROBLEM AREAS

Three card brag - I'm great! I'm really handsome & I'm very rich.

'Kids like my presents, but do they really like me?'

'I know you'll find this hard to believe but I am actually a self made man.'

'I'm having a bad whisker day.'

Always remember...you're the best you in the world.

"I don't care what it was or how hard it was to kill. It makes me look fat."

'Keep repeating to yourself: I am a high flyer, I will not dive for the salmon.'

"Who cares what little kids think? What's important is that you believe in yourself."

"If I'm coming across as shallow, uncaring and egocentric, talk to my image manager."

"My fuse about my height is about as short as I am."

'The baby took some cellphone pictures of you napping!'

'It's Always 'Good Dog'—Never 'Great Dog.'

Seminar: Find Someone Cool to Imitate.

"Dear, it's a well known fact that women's clothes shrink in the closet during winter!"

100% Bombast-Filled Parka

'I'm afraid my husband will stop loving me as I get older.' - 'Mine would never do that with me. You know why, don't you. He's an antique dealer.'

"Nobody wants to steal my identity."

'I envy your metabolism.'

Self Love Witch

Body Shaming

"Be honest, Ralph, does my butt makes these pants look big?"

'You know, it's not good for kids' self-esteem to keep harping on about this 'naughty or nice' stuff.'

"It doesn't matter how many people tell me I'm beautiful. Inside, I still feel like the fat caterpillar all the other kids teased unmercifully!"

"Even my mother and father never believed in me."

Bob Found A Different Yardstick For Success And he Felt Swell

'You've got a lot of nerve, lady, calling my son's answers 'wrong'...His answers may be different, but they're just as special and beautiful as anyone else's.'