High School Sports Season Gifts

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

"Just be yourself."

Scottish Football Fan - "...and please Lord, let the result be against the run of play."

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

"College basketball recruiters are after him."

Warning, ski season abruptly ends here.

'At least now the injury worries are over, we can concentrate on slagging off the team.'

Pregnant Cheerleaders,

Come on! They're posting the spring musical. I can't wait! I want a romantic part! With and elegant gown. Good luck with that! We're doing "Cats."

It had been a while, but he had finally come home.

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

Jumping cheerleaders

Vendor selling testosterone.

American Football.

'You can't beat the excitement of a new county season.'

'All this viewing is an endurance event in itself...'

"Oh, how I wish the season would start!"

I can just feel it. I know they're talking about me.

"We would have won if it hadn't been for the other team."

"We're doing a skit of Peter Rabbit at school. I'm the potting soil."

'Peanuts, popcorn, steroids!'

Snacks for Learners

Sports Fan - Whoever's Winning

Football.

'Frank's last request was that he be cremated and that I never give up his season tickets.'

'Good news, it's not mad cow...it's March madness.'

'The 'most improved player of the year award' or the 'you don't suck as much as you did last year award' goes to...'

'My - I don't remember my second-grade Christmas play dealing with post-holiday depression.'

'The manager takes the pitcher out of the game'

I'm trying out for the spring play. You'll be great! Ha! You'll be grateful to be an usher, Meryl Creep. Yeah. The good parts go to real actors. Sigh. The arts are sooo uplifting.

'Fantastic!Stupendous!Masterly!Mind blowing!Polished!Unbeatable!Amazing!Incredible! Out of this world!...a performance that's left me speechless.'

Before instant replay.

World Cup Fan.