School Sports Gifts

'Just take your time, Sweetheart. Remember, it's not a race.'

'Listen Jimmy, as a member of the School Swimming Squad, you're not taking your training seriously enough!'

Slipped a discus at sports day.

"Don’t worry. You’re looking at the Frederick H. Tuttle Middle School long-jump champion."

'It's not fair, Bill has stuck the bails on with chewing gum...'

Senior Gary Kleg performs his infamous shot-put wedgie.

"What does any of this have to do with football?"

"The egg and spoon race was a disaster, they eat all the eggs!"

'He hates basketball! He hates basketball! He hates basketball!'

'They're not even real, Miss!'

'I'm doing this just to show my daughter there's no harm in losing.'

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

Go team!

Cheers For The Hollyhock Middle School Chess Team

"College basketball recruiters are after him."

Pregnant Cheerleaders,

'He always tees off like that. He used to throw the discus in college.'

"Remember, kids, it's not winning that matters, it's getting a clean urine sample that's important."

'Mom! Dad's eating my science fair project!'

Cheerleaders

"I got a red card for not having enough fun!!"

The Giamatti era

'Play any other position besides Monday morning quarterback?'

Basketball Tourney. Ernie, you're crushing everybody in the office basketball pool! You've picked the winner of every game so far! It's amazing because you don't know a thing about basketball. For you, picking the winner of every tournament game is like correctly guessing a coin flip sixty seven times in a row! No, I have a system! It seems everybody has an opinion about the tourney so I listened to what my investment advisor thought about the teams. And with his record of picking winners

College game crowd: 'WE WON',,,'and that somehow makes you superior'

'I've decided to skip my senior year and go directly into an endless cycle of unrealistic expectations and failure.'

'But Mum, I've got a match after school...'

Baseball players and their qualifications.

The Thurston State Hornets make their entry onto the field.

Tax What?!

"With great power comes zero responsibility."

"Wow, the current is strong today. It reminds meof the championship race backwhen I was at Yale. Did I mention I rowed at Yale?"

"Can we fast forward through the 7th inning stretch?"

Coach Prime Cleans House

"Great. I guess he'll win again."