School Sports Gifts

'Just take your time, Sweetheart. Remember, it's not a race.'

'Listen Jimmy, as a member of the School Swimming Squad, you're not taking your training seriously enough!'

Slipped a discus at sports day.

"Don’t worry. You’re looking at the Frederick H. Tuttle Middle School long-jump champion."

'It's not fair, Bill has stuck the bails on with chewing gum...'

"What does any of this have to do with football?"

"The egg and spoon race was a disaster, they eat all the eggs!"

'He hates basketball! He hates basketball! He hates basketball!'

'They're not even real, Miss!'

'I'm doing this just to show my daughter there's no harm in losing.'

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

Go team!

Cheers For The Hollyhock Middle School Chess Team

"College basketball recruiters are after him."

Pregnant Cheerleaders,

"Remember, kids, it's not winning that matters, it's getting a clean urine sample that's important."

'Mom! Dad's eating my science fair project!'

"I got a red card for not having enough fun!!"

Cheerleaders

The Giamatti era

'Play any other position besides Monday morning quarterback?'

'I've decided to skip my senior year and go directly into an endless cycle of unrealistic expectations and failure.'

Baseball players and their qualifications.

College game crowd: 'WE WON',,,'and that somehow makes you superior'

'But Mum, I've got a match after school...'

"With great power comes zero responsibility."

"Can we fast forward through the 7th inning stretch?"

"Wow, the current is strong today. It reminds meof the championship race backwhen I was at Yale. Did I mention I rowed at Yale?"

Coach Prime Cleans House

Tax What?!

The Thurston State Hornets make their entry onto the field.

'It's the parents' 4x4x400 metres.'

"Great. I guess he'll win again."

So you're wearing a bag over your head because you're ashamed of your team?' 'It's a cloaking device.'

'Ring around the rosey ...'