High-rise Dweller T-Shirts

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

THE PIED PIPER OF GRAMERCY PARK

Ancient Landmarks of New York City

"The woman on the fire escape who acted like it was a balcony"

"Freudian, Jungian, Adlerian – none of it compares to retail therapy."

No Parking - Scandal or No Scandal

Apart from protest footage I forget what downtown looks like.

'Will you please stop feeding the pigeons?!'

"Flat pack furniture is my passion. It's just a shame I haven't the space to assemble it."

Lift buttons read: East Side/West Side/All Around the Town.

"Excuse me ma'am, may I help you cross the road so that I can get the answer to this dumb joke my friend keeps telling?"

"The only problem with living at the top of a mountain is the constant stream of people coming to ask stupid questions."

Kid arrives with CCTV camera, saying: 'It followed me home, can we keep it?'

Fleeting illusions of happiness hour 5-7

"The dangers of texting while walking #17"

Fish-tank Skyscraper.

"I thought we'd eat out on the patio for a change."

"I can’t believe you’re doing this! I have abandonment issues! Abandonment issues!!!"

'. . .actually I'm not a real Guru, I was forced up here originally by the property prices.'

"I'm thinking of leaving these crowded condos and going to a place that's been deserted for years...the mall."

How to cope in Los Angeles vs. New York

"I travel Prada whenever I can."

Upper West Side Story

'Guess they're still fixing the street.'

"He knows 'sit, stay, paw' and 'upstate.'"

Natural Phenomena of 15-E

"Could you fellas tell me if there's anyplace around here where I could find a fax machine?"

New York Scatological Society

'Honey, I'm home.'

"Why do I feel like your mother is going to blame this on my cleaning?"

OM, SWEET OM

"Hard to believe this was all rain forest just fifteen years ago."

'I should've never sold my truck when I moved to the city.'