Big City Dweller T-Shirts

"Counting the space behind the pantry shelves, it's eleven square feet."

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

Things-to-do-today: Daily workboxes piled up on desk.

THE PIED PIPER OF GRAMERCY PARK

"The fish sticks here are very good."

Ancient Landmarks of New York City

"Freudian, Jungian, Adlerian – none of it compares to retail therapy."

"The woman on the fire escape who acted like it was a balcony"

No Parking - Scandal or No Scandal

'Humans are so considerate: They put perches like these for us on every one of their houses...'

Apart from protest footage I forget what downtown looks like.

'I just don't feel I'm getting anywhere.'

'Will you please stop feeding the pigeons?!'

City Boy.

Hoodie Hang-out

'Looks like Reginald wasn't kidding when he said he's going to start urban farming on the roof...'

"Flat pack furniture is my passion. It's just a shame I haven't the space to assemble it."

"Excuse me ma'am, may I help you cross the road so that I can get the answer to this dumb joke my friend keeps telling?"

Lift buttons read: East Side/West Side/All Around the Town.

Kid arrives with CCTV camera, saying: 'It followed me home, can we keep it?'

'I'm telling ya, it's a jungle out there.'

Fleeting illusions of happiness hour 5-7

"I thought we'd eat out on the patio for a change."

'I'm thinking of cutting my hours down to 24/7."

Can't even hold signs well.

'It's your husband. The baby won't burp for him.'

"The dangers of texting while walking #17"

Fish-tank Skyscraper.

Sick Building Syndrome

"I can’t believe you’re doing this! I have abandonment issues! Abandonment issues!!!"

"Son, one day two hundred square feet of this city could be yours to rent."

"I like New York, but I miss sleeping drunk on my front lawn."

"I'm thinking of leaving these crowded condos and going to a place that's been deserted for years...the mall."

How to cope in Los Angeles vs. New York