High-flying Chef Gifts

"Ideally, you want the dough to rise to about thirty-five thousand feet."

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

"Everything tastes better when it's cooked on the grill."

Bangers and Mash

"The meatloaf just tapped S.O.S. in Morse code."

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

'I know! It's what I had last night for dinner.'

GMOs: The Next Generation

Keith Floyd.

"I thought the cake came out awfully dense."

Witch's Brew.

'We call it the 'Tomato Surprise' because the chef tinkered with the DNA a little.'

"Fair's fair. I cooked the dinner, so you can clean the cauldron!"

Stupid Microwave

Quartet of chefs.

Leftovers restaurant - for that unpretentious dining.

Amy Sedaris

Anti-inflammation recipes

Cook in the cookery section.

I hate it when they order scrambled eggs.

"Tastes great, less killing!"

"Butcher a tune for you today, ma'am?"

Cooking With Pollock.

'White beetroot?' 'I bleached them.'

"It's something I made myself - chocolate covered veggies."

"Don't hold back on the toad legs now - I'm through with Nouvelle Cuisine!"

'What the devil is that?

At the Periodic Picnic Table of the Elements

Chef: 'Howz that Octopus coming along Jeff?'

Waiter indicates cutlery for diner's tiny meal, saying: 'The one on the right is your mangnifying glass, sir.'

Hell's Kitchen specials: Lawyer thermador, barrister kabobs, litigator flambe, attorney tartare.

Artichoking victim

"Welcome to Trapeze Talent Inc. If you'd like us to catch you, fill out this form, and we'll get back to you if we're interested."

101 things to do with lutefisk.

Dinner Cereal, Corn Flakes with Spaghetti Sauce.