High Couture Cynic Gifts

6 Quarantine-Friendly Fashions

Rich man vomiting euros to a beggar.

Haute Suture

A Macaroni in 1772

The Forever Stamp

"Life sucks and then you keep living."

"They're at that age where it's only cool to wag ironically."

Sir Cecil Beaton

'Excuse me, would you mind...?'

"Everyone is so cynical these days."

"I'm doing a Kickstopper project!" "What?" "I was going to write a book... but do we really need another book in this world? So... Kickstopper—people donate money to stop me from writing. I won't write it so I'll never ask you to read it. I'd pay money to not read your book. Thanks." "You're welcome." "I'm also starting projects to not start a band, not write poetry and not tell you about my dreams."

"At Ermbruster Academy you son will acquire indispensible life skills."

'Gautier goes to Mothercare.'

We just assumed everyone knew they couldn't take it with them.

"The individual cheese slice. Oddly, not the first choice for the truly individual."

'Why not just buy a tube?'

"You seem to have the right combination of bitterness, pessimism, and caffeine consumption that we're looking for."

Skinny model in wardrobe - 'Clothes hang better on skinny models.'

Information and Still don't get it.

"I started out looking for an honest man and settled for a guy with creative bookkeeping skills."

The latest fall fashion trends

"I've had a few days to calm down and process things and I've come to the realization that I was wrong to have had faith in humanity."

"You can't put a price on all those years of marriage." "Au contraire!"

"The difference between criminal geniuses and politicians is none of them are geniuses."

Obscene Hollywood phone call

"No no no! Stripes are soooo half-past four!"

'Help me, Helen! I'm feeling a momentary lapse of cynicism!'

'Remind me, what should I be thanking my lucky stars for?'

"You're on 'Ask Sadie.' What's your problem?" "I met a lady a while back." "We're both stuck in marriages we don't want to be in. We'd rather be together but we don't have the courage to end things." "What do you mean 'courage?' Ending things isn't 'courageous,' it's cowardly." "Courage means not running from misery, but embracing it, becoming its master, and delivering it upon all those around you with a vengeance."