Hidden Fee Detective Gifts

Airline Charges

'This isn't a flow chart. It's our fee structure!'

"Can you throw this away for me?"

Todays Special: Beans on Toast #2.50 (use of tin-opener 10- extra. . .)

Excess Baggage: Fans of 'Deregulation' and the 'Free Market' probably have not had to buy a plane ticket recently.

Rumors, lies and innuendo.

'My piggy bank charged shaking fees.'

Unusual Offers

"The camera is mounted on your desk for a reason. There's been some paperclips missing, and we think you're the culprit."

'We don't have anyone here by that name. Was he perhaps using one of his aliases?'

"Find out who put a 100 dollar bill in the suggestion box. This person has potential!"

'But what do you sell?'

"You want to withdraw your money? There's a fee for that."

'Harlow, do you wnat to be part of the problem or part of the coverup?'

Cut-Rate Think Tanks - Now available for hire.

"There's a $2.00 service fee for that friendly greeting."

It isn't just the media that's biased...often the voters are too.

"Today the CIA investigated the FBI's investigation of the IRS' investigation of Trump."

"Murder, eh? They nabbed me for bargain-hunting without a license."

"Is this your first time with an undercover cop?"

"I'm from the Duvall Executive Search Agency, and I leave no stone unturned."

"Move along, people, there's nothing to see here."

"Now he can say he ran it by legal."

'It appears that our competitors have gotten their hands on our confidential files...I'm afraid we may have a mole in this office!'

Huffison never discovered the source of security leaks within his company.

"Terrible. It's just terrible. He's the third accountant I've hired to calculate my per diem."

Stealth Taxman

Book: Reduced - Slightly Damaged

'After I found out he was a cop, he just stopped calling. Too bad. I thought this time it might lead to something - other than an arrest.'

What we talk about when we talk about the weather

"You think he knows something we don't?"

'Oh God, trust security to have found the hidden agenda!'

'It was very careless of you, Johnson, to leave your fingerprints on this suggestion.'

'Bixby, you're diligent, punctual, hard-working, and dependable — What's your angle, anyway?'

"First of all, let's find out who blew the whistle on us."