Heroic Tails Enthusiast T-Shirts

"You owe your life to that dog. He pulled you to safety. Unfortunately, there's still no sign of the dog ??" or your arm."

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

Fishing Tales

Dog lover

"Do you recall the exact moment the balance of power shifted?"

'When he comes through that door, let's all jump up and give him a big kiss!'

"I finally caught you... now what?"

The Tale of the Tape of the Tail.

I've found you can say anything you like to them, as long as you're wagging your tail.

"Who's a good boy? You're a good boy."

'No JAMIE,you're NOT keeping any strays! Now GET rid of him and go wash up for dinner!...' / 'Sorry kiddo,i tried...'

'You've got restless wag syndrome.'

Odysseus starts regretting his return to Ithaca.

"You've already been for a walk."

"That's right kiddo, I'm one of the original band members of the Musicians of Bremen..."

Paul Bunyan gets the leg-lengthening Operation

'Max and I have a give and take relationship. He sniffs my butt...and I let him.'

Lady walking a dog with a big tail.

"That's just not the real me."

"Yes, I was using my mobile whilst driving... I was calling the police to tell them I was chasing a gang of bank robbers!"

"It's been one of those days. I don't know if I’ve been chasing my tail or it's been chasing me."

'All this is nuthin! There was one yeaw up noth...when it snowed fah two yeaws! I had t'dig down ten feet t'haul in my lobstah traps.'

Triumphant mouse posing like Perseus holding aloft Medusa's head.

"We're just going for a routine checkup ... they only do that operation once."

'They do say they're a shy breed.'

"At long last, Wyatt, our dream has come true and we are within reach of the legendary toast fields of the Sierra Madre."

"Pecos Bildungsroman"

'He's making tremendous progress. last week he had three tails.'

'Don't get me wrong, the professional dog-walker is nice, but it is not really the same as if my Master was walking me...'

A Salmon Lie

'A boy! Standing on a burning deck! I bet nobody did a risk assessment?'

Captain Eddie's New Boat:'The insurance company laughed last year when I insisted on adding Kraken coverage.'

'Sure you always catch bigger fish than me. Your arms are a foot longer than mine.'

'That's right kids: I jumped through rings of fire when I was with the Circus!'

"As I see it, the issue with dog-walking services is that the pace is dictated by whoever is slowest..."