Heroic Humorist Pillows

She's Not Heavy, She's a Heroine

"I'm here to save you...for later!"

Supernova Man

'It's a good job I was trapped by my wooden leg and not my good one, son!'

"I feel a lot safer around here since your Grandad joined the Neighbourhood Watch!"

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

"Being raised in the city, Fred didn’t quite grasp the true purpose of a game camera."

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

Copycats

In his younger days Spock was quite the comedian.

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

"'I don't want war'. . . well, wither our translation program is broke or this president has a strange kind of humor!"

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

'Of course I'll still love you when you're old and skinny!'

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

I will study my speling words...

'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to well, pie.'

"No, there was no 'Buy One, Get One Free.' You're twins."

"But everyone is befuddled by math."

"Even the waiters here are organic."

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"I don't love you. That's it in a nutshell."

"Great cruise except the zip lining got flooded."

THE PIED PIPER OF GRAMERCY PARK

Dog Walking Services

Outer Space Outsourcing

"When is my next parole hearing?"

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

"Well, isn't that embarrassing."

"Boss, the AI is actually smarter than all of us! It read our business forecast, jumped up and ran out laughing!"