Inspirational Humorist Pillows

Designer

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

"The water changes them back into babies. I think they call it the Fountain of Youth."

Indian rajah rowing elephant in a monsoon flood.

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

'It appears he hit an iceberg.' (A LETTUCE)

"Gee, thanks pal."

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

Football Chameleon

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

Welcome to Mauritius Home of the Dodo Burger

"Eww - that whale's breath smells awful!" "You could use a breath mint yourself, lady!"

Grim Reaper Buying CDs...

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

"The Eggsorcist"

At the 2021 Religious Games

"This cruise is getting a very stern review from me, I can tell you."

Non-Creative Writing, Also Known as Plagiarism 101.

'He doesn't like people walking in - try crawling.'

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

'I don't think the employees like me.'

"So, like, don't make any big plans for this weekend."

'I'm no expert, but I think we're a little behind when it comes to the latest industry technology.'

' It's a bit of an anti climax - I've washed it but I can't go any where ! '

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

"I see the White House didn't lower the flag to half staff."

"I’ve heard of them barking at the moon, but never scatting at the sun."

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."

Chicken soup for the sole.

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

'I'm told you've been born again, again and again. . . ?'

"I'm starting my own movement—Occupy Fifty-Seventh Street."