Here And Now Believer Gifts

I want a calendar where every day says here and now

"Rescue someone; rescue yourself"

The ten ammendments

"I have an app for that."

Sermon on the Grounds...

'God sees everything? You mean He channel surfs?'

"Ten commandments and the periodic table – all we have to know."

'I am reluctant to offer plastic surgery at this time, Miss Caterpillar: Why don't you let Nature take its course?'

"I have sent you all an e-mail of today's text if you wish to follow along."

Feelings towards radios #8 People worshipping a radio.

Cartoon characters unable to instantly recover from catastrophic injuries support group.

"Yes, Jimmy, this is how you'll look if you keep working out with your rubber strap!"

"One, one deduction! Two, two deductions! Three, three deductions! Four deductions ah ah ah!!!!!!"

Meet Aron Kowalski: The only person in the USA who hasn't been abducted by aliens...

"Ok, I'm confused. – Which is it? Wear the mask or shed the mask?"

'This is a song my therapist told me to sing whenever I get the urge to harm people who won't pay attention to me.'

'You seem to be in good spirits.'

"Yes, that's right Mr. Harris. It was definitely another hole in one."

"Keep your chin up."

I'm angry at the oil companies, aren't I? Fuel price anger counseling. – $25. You're right. It's really me I'm angry at. I'm a fossil fuel addict, is that it? The fact I pay soaring prices reminds me of my weakness and inability to change my behavior! Breakthrough … let's talk about my mom. Zzz.

'Those stretching exercises you have been practicing are really working!'

"Yeah! Well, I don't believe in karma."

"Give Me 6 Sets At 30 Seconds Each!"

God Shows His Love In Many Ways...

"I haven't confirmed it personally, but I hear the Lutherans have the best coffee."

"Isn't Bill going a little too green?"

Looking For God

'Will Tuesday afternoon be satisfactory?'

"I don't mind the voices themselves, Doctor. It's the Jersey accents that are driving me nuts."

'Actually, you're the first to arrive.'

Wait Here. Employment Office. My belief that if you can't say something nice about a person you shouldn't say anything at all spelled doom for my career as a radio talk show host.

A Tailor and a new customer

Coffee Hydrant

A woman dances to music on the radio.

"That's the first self-help book I wrote. The second two didn't sell nearly as well."