Here And Now Believer Gifts

I want a calendar where every day says here and now

"Rescue someone; rescue yourself"

"I have an app for that."

The ten ammendments

'God sees everything? You mean He channel surfs?'

'I am reluctant to offer plastic surgery at this time, Miss Caterpillar: Why don't you let Nature take its course?'

"I have sent you all an e-mail of today's text if you wish to follow along."

"Ten commandments and the periodic table – all we have to know."

Feelings towards radios #8 People worshipping a radio.

Meet Aron Kowalski: The only person in the USA who hasn't been abducted by aliens...

"Ok, I'm confused. – Which is it? Wear the mask or shed the mask?"

"One, one deduction! Two, two deductions! Three, three deductions! Four deductions ah ah ah!!!!!!"

"Yes, Jimmy, this is how you'll look if you keep working out with your rubber strap!"

"Keep your chin up."

'You seem to be in good spirits.'

"Yes, that's right Mr. Harris. It was definitely another hole in one."

'Those stretching exercises you have been practicing are really working!'

"Yeah! Well, I don't believe in karma."

God Shows His Love In Many Ways...

"Give Me 6 Sets At 30 Seconds Each!"

"Isn't Bill going a little too green?"

Looking For God

'Will Tuesday afternoon be satisfactory?'

"I haven't confirmed it personally, but I hear the Lutherans have the best coffee."

"I don't mind the voices themselves, Doctor. It's the Jersey accents that are driving me nuts."

'Actually, you're the first to arrive.'

Coffee Hydrant

A Tailor and a new customer

A woman dances to music on the radio.

"That's the first self-help book I wrote. The second two didn't sell nearly as well."

"Jesus, how many times have I told you that's not a toy?"