Herbal Tea Advocates Gifts

"Coffee's been making me jittery, so I'm trying some herbal tea."

'You've got, like, a Feng Shui problem with your pancreas, dude.'

'Cool it with the herbal shampoo -- you've got aphids.'

Happy Meals for Grown Ups

"Aren't you getting a little carried away with this herbal medicine, Doctor?"

'St John's wort ambulance' - hippy ambulance.

'I'm taking you off the herbal tea.'

'No I don't do decaf, soy lattes with a shot of vanilla!'

'It appears to be a side effect of the herbal eye drops you're using.'

Sir, we have plenty of fine herbal tea for you to sample...but you're drinking the potpourri.

"Lay off the natural remedies. You're beginning to ferment."

Alternative medicine

"The pharmacist will be with you shortly to answer any questions that you have."

"Here, let me put some ointment on your bug bite. I made it myself from cayenne powder, licorice root and mugwort leaves blended with that vanilla pudding I made last week. Hmm...it's not here."

'Great job! -- I'll go gather some herbs.'

'Did I wake up feeling grumpy this morning?... No, I let him sleep!'

Gals! Are you entering you 'goddess' years?

'I'm not coming here again Doctor Melrose. I'd rather talk to my plants.'

'It appears to be a side effect of those herbal eye drops you've been using.'

"Please escort Miss Delgado to the private waiting room. She's curing my patients again."

I can't decide if I want green tea, moss green tea. . .

'No I don't do decaf, soy lattes with a shot of vanilla!'

"I appreciate your researching solutions on the Internet, but there is little evidence to show twig broth and changing will help your condition."

"Penicillin? I'm sorry – I don't practice alternative medicine."

'This looks like a deer feeding area.'

"I tried a traditional Chinese herbal remedy for writer's block and it worked great. I wrote four new chapters in two days. Unfortunately, it was all in Chinese and I can't read Chinese."

"We're out of chrysanthemum." "I ordered chrysanthemum tea. This is not chrysanthemum tea. This is chamomile." "I've had a chrysanthemum tea every day for the last 80 years, and I'm still alive and well." "Are you trying to kill me?" "Are all old folks this superstitious?" "Superstition's always worked in the past."

Vending Machine in Alternative Medicine Clinic

'It's just in from the rainforest, so there may still be some roots and stems in it.'

"Wow! I've never seen so many get-well plants!"

'I've been lucky with men - I haven't met any yet...'

Camomile Tea

"Have you tried St. John's Wort?"

It appears to be a side effect of the herbal shampoo you're using.

"I think you've crossed the line, Alphonse, from seasoning to herbal medicine."