Herbal Cooking Gifts

'I told you rosemary and sage, but don't add the garlic until the last half hour.'

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

Soup of the month.

Garden.

Too much cilantro

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

"Yo - I'm way overdone in here!"

"I've combined a laxative and alphabet soup. I call it 'Letter Rip!'"

Holiday Supplies

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

"Hmm...I LOVE chocolate chip ice cream...!"

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'

I love Cannelloni

'Do you want me to get the fish bone out, or not?'

Medicinal plants

Victorian Fast Food - 'I'll have the lark pie festooned with eels, a full stilton, two bottles of port,,,'

Baloneystini

"Please don't kill me."

Fly Tastings: 'Notice that hint of dog fur and then let that full bodied garbage finish unfold.'

Junior Masterchef - "Darren Smith and I'll be cooking chicken nuggets with Mars bars in a CocaCola sauce"

'We're not at home, Stu. You can't just order 'I don't care'.'

"Marions nous! Tu payes les impôts, j'offre le resto!"

Tzatzikicicle

Witches of Instagram

'Our chickens are a real 'come back' story: raised organic, they hooked up with some seedy fowl, but then, thankfully, were saved by massive doses of antibiotics.'

'I never knew baking was such a violent activity. You have to beat the eggs, whip the cream, and mash the nuts.'

'I'm writing a vegetarian cook book.'

The perfect man

The boss is truly a courageous risk-taker. Only he tasted the salmon mousse at last year's company picnic.

"Cut down on the pumpkin spice."

"Tastes great, less killing!"

"Well, there's your problem right there -- you need to sauté the onions in white wine before adding the ginger."