Help Line Pillows

"Thank you for calling. Your customer care balance is now twenty-two hours and four minutes."

Pounding speeds up the computer.

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

Geek fairies

JOIN THE BOY SCOUTS HERE!, ''Trustworthy, friendly, loyal, helpful, kind, courteous, brave, thrifty, obedient and cheerful' -- This is going to look GREAT on my resume!'

Torn-Off Mouse.

'I think what we need now is someone called a computer programmer.'

Telephone message - 'This is a recording. If you'd like to speak to a real live human being, forgetaboutit.

"Well you said you wanted a simple, cheap solution!" (IT Solutions).

'Here comes the 64-bit local bus.'

"Dad's at that awkward age when he knows just enough about computers to really screw 'em up!"

"Houston, Los Angeles, New York, Chicago, Tampa, Juneau, Honolulu, we have a problem."

Social Worker

"Can you help me? I'm having a little trouble working the shredder."

"Yes, you did close some of your tabs. However, you still have 1,894 open. You're a tab hoarder."

'I was told it required a log-in...'

'Due to a programming error you have been erased.'

That's weird - every time I call the self-help hotline, it goes straight to my voicemail.

"I'll have the computer running once I workout the bugs."

Sometimes God regretted making Fridays so awesome.

You're so demanding, run it yourself!

"Maybe it's just me, Stan, but I keep getting the nagging feeling that your company doesn't place a very high value on information technology."

'Control Alt Delete...My three finger salute to the help desk.'

'Internet' 'Internot'

"Now right-click on the icon."

'For the 80th time, you cannot get rid of viruses by pouring bleach down the back of your computer!'

"Hello... is that the help desk?"

"It was just a near-death experience, but while you're here, would you help me with this computer?"

'I suppose you tried to fix it yourself.'

'Say, how can I convert this FAT file into a nice and small JPG?'

'I think I've found what's causing your funny buzzing sound.'

"Yes, I know how to fix it! I watched a 12 year-old do it on a YouTube video."

'We can't let you work at home because you're the only one that can fix the computer.'

"You have reached the samaritans. If you are a farmer press one, a pensioner press two, small business owner press three...."

"Oh, hello darling..."