Helmsman T-Shirts

'It's my job to take everyone down with me.'

"Turn 15 degrees Leo... Oh, sorry. Wrong chart."

Jack of all trades

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

Shoe Shine/Lace Tie

'Do you think he's ready for the big round-up?'

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

"I finally found a use for that old home repair book..."

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

Painting the Ceiling

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

"They're comfortable."

Tool Box

'I found the termites!'

'Can I invite my friends round to watch, Mom?'

A man sees a leak in his ceiling and drills a hole in the floor under leak to by pass his apartment.

"I thought you were making a coffee table?"

The Gardener's Calendar: Try to Repair It...

'They look more up to date than the ones in your tool-box.'

I did it my way.

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

"Remember now, anything is DIY-abe if you just do it yourself."

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

Girl who can't cook meets guys who can't fix stuff.

'A cousin to the hammerhead, here we see the allusive, yet, handy, multi-use shark.'

'I suppose you want Polly to forget she heard that.'

"Flat pack furniture is my passion. It's just a shame I haven't the space to assemble it."

Hardware Store Tools Wrench

"The bad news is that I backed into a fan. The good news is my owner's a plumber."

"See this area right here, honey? This is why we need to find someone who knows what they're doing."

"Of course I know how to use a chainsaw!"

Do-It-Yourself. Do-it-yourself-With-Good-Friends-and-Pizza-and-A-Few-Beers.

Fuel bill gone through the roof

"Lovely dovetail."