Helmsman T-Shirts

'It's my job to take everyone down with me.'

"Turn 15 degrees Leo... Oh, sorry. Wrong chart."

Jack of all trades

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

"I finally found a use for that old home repair book..."

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

'Do you think he's ready for the big round-up?'

Painting the Ceiling

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

"They're comfortable."

Tool Box

'I found the termites!'

'Can I invite my friends round to watch, Mom?'

A man sees a leak in his ceiling and drills a hole in the floor under leak to by pass his apartment.

'They look more up to date than the ones in your tool-box.'

"I thought you were making a coffee table?"

I did it my way.

The Gardener's Calendar: Try to Repair It...

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

"Remember now, anything is DIY-abe if you just do it yourself."

Girl who can't cook meets guys who can't fix stuff.

'A cousin to the hammerhead, here we see the allusive, yet, handy, multi-use shark.'

'I suppose you want Polly to forget she heard that.'

Hardware Store Tools Wrench

"Flat pack furniture is my passion. It's just a shame I haven't the space to assemble it."

"See this area right here, honey? This is why we need to find someone who knows what they're doing."

Fuel bill gone through the roof

"Lovely dovetail."

'It all started when he tried to assemble a backyard gym without reading the instructions.'

High Riders of the Old West

"Of course I know how to use a chainsaw!"

"The bad news is that I backed into a fan. The good news is my owner's a plumber."