Helmet Juggler Pillows

Cricket umpire with pile of helmets.

Football

"Some advice please...How do I squeeze 9 days work into 5 and still see my family?"

Moving in

A woman watches football on her computer.

A word from James Cameron. . .

Business cartoon showing a stressed business woman who has three urgent messages on her office door.

"This next tune is a one-chord song about how hard it is to learn a second chord."

'Your mother and I are worried that all these video games may be having an effect on you.'

Sorry, sir, but today is Tuesday, and I never did get the hang of Tuesdays.

Benefactor of children

'Take a message...'

Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence. We received a communication fro Alpha Centauri, but it appears they just pocket dialed us.

Unicyclist painting a ceiling,

'Mac, when are we going to get the pickup truck fixed?'

Octopus

Excess Baggage: The concept of electronic ticketing still has a few airline passengers spooked.

Well, I can't sit around all day - I have things to do.

'I like you, you've got balls.'

'Attack!'

'Oh great. It's Western and I use an English saddle.'

"I've got to figure out how to get paid for work dreams."

Chiropractor

"Okay, feet, let's show hands you're just as good as they are."

'Can't talk now! I'll call you back.'

Escape on a treadmill

I may not have made any sales this quarter but I also haven't prevented and sales.

'Oh, I don't know, part of me wants to get married and part of me wants to stay single...and part of me wants to sail around the world and part of me wants to enter a monastery and part of me wants to be a hairdresser and part of me wants to...'

Competing Mission Trampoline

One man band

'Does it hurt when I do this?'

'As far as dancing goes, the doctor says you need to stay off my feet for 6-8 weeks.'

'Settle down! The bell is a signal for me, not for you.'