Goal Juggler Pillows

'Oh, I don't know, part of me wants to get married and part of me wants to stay single...and part of me wants to sail around the world and part of me wants to enter a monastery and part of me wants to be a hairdresser and part of me wants to...'

Competing Mission Trampoline

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

'No, your guess isn't as good as mine.'

Work/Life Balance

'Let me worry about the one percent inspiration, you just take care of the 99 percent perspiration.'

School. Report Card. You couldn't name the presidents and flunked history? Yeah -- It's not what you know, it's who you know.

'Go right in -- he's expecting you.'

"May I put you on hold? I was on another line."

Football

Travelling

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

"Look Billington, if you can't take the strain, tell me, ok?"

'Your resume and interview were so bad, not only did you not get the job, I'm having you arrested as well.'

'I find my job interesting because even after 27 years, I still don't know exactly what I'm doing here!'

Guess which "squeaky wheel" got another raise.

'You call it diversified work experience.. I call it can't hold a job.'

Brickie's Mate

SNAKE CHARMER: snake reads 'help wanted' ad.

'Yes sir, I'll get right on it. Would you like it done with or without gusto?'

"I've given up trying to be on top of things."

A woman watches football on her computer.

"Misunderstood,overworked,underpaid and stressed, it's bound to lead to depression...still enough of my problems,what can I do for you?"

'Welcome aboard, Bob. Your job is to figure out what the hell happened here.'

'What do I do around here? Sir, I really think I deserve some time for research and preparation before answering that.'

'Regarding where you stand for a payrise - you don't.'

Waiter: 'I'm not really a waiter, I'm an actor. I'll act like I'm waiting on you.'

(an employee is in grasp of a giant octopi.The employee's boss is yelling at him through a bull-horn) 'Mr. Smith! According to H.R., you can no longer be employed here! Alright H.R., you can set Mr. Smith down now!'

"Well it looks like we're all here."

'Word has it that you have an ulcer, Tomkins. Nice going! You'll find an extra 20 bucks in your paycheck.'

Why do you want a career in the bank?

Have you ever read Dickens, minion? No. How about Upton Sinclair? John Steinbeck? Who?

'Of course you're overworked and underpaid! Didn't you read the fine print in your employee's contract?'

I avoided the layoff, but they transferred me to the high-wire act. At least it's steady work.

"I hate my job and I'm terrified of losing it."