Hellish Art Lover Gifts

'Of course I am at the office, honey. Don't you hear the tortured souls?'

'What would your mum say if she saw you drawing all over the wall like that?'

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

CLOTHES-HORSES OF THE ART SCENE

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

Venus

Where Indian ink came from.

Use your imagination.

"Hey, it's not all fire and brimstone anymore—one of our nine circles is even smoke-free."

"I find that hugely offensive!"

Cat with Nine Still Lives

'The dreaded Anachronisaurus strikes again!'

Balloon Kids

"Would the widdle Venus fly trap like a fly? You'll have to beg for it."

Klimt Kiss Phones

"We're looking for something for our panic room."

Fist Bumper Cars

Neptune

Mr. Punch in Venice

Stephen Spender.

"Uh Ooh... Another tsunami hits the Ross Ice shelf!

What's an Imax cave?

The Origami Society...

Doctor performing an ultrasound on a Russian nesting doll

'I had no idea Ikea had been around so long.'

Passed over at the Inaugural Poetry Audition

"He gets easily abstracted."

The Coiffing - to Illustrate poem 'The Ballad of a Barber'

"Amateurs."

A Footnote - Self Portrait of Beardsley, Bound to the God of Nature

"Someday, these will be installed in every home and business that wants to seem artsy."

They were mysteriously drawn together

A cross section of the brain shows what a man thinks about.

'Greenwich in the Season'

The signing of Ben Franklin's non-disclosure agreement.