Darkly Comedic Art Lover Gifts

The Fall of Gnome

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

'You can just forget about the cake.'

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

Forlornaments: Tools to drain individual and team spirit

Another day at work would be one too many...

Donald Trump Removing Aggressor Label From Vladimir Putin

"Actually, it is a bad time — I’m rushing to get the kids out of the oven."

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

Emily Dickinson: Mime - "I think she's saying something about death."

Loan Alley

Grim Reaper rowing a boat full of dead souls to the afterlife; a tip jar sits on the side of the boat.

Grim Reaper Buying CDs...

"How about if we just winter in hell?"

Apart from protest footage I forget what downtown looks like.

"Boy, this blooper reel from 'Manchester by the Sea' is a crack-up."

"The Eggsorcist"

"I thought you wanted me to change."

101 uses of a dead cat: disguise.

Fleeting illusions of happiness hour 5-7

HELLth Food Sprouts

'Because the horned one commands them to, that's how!'

"'Grim Reapers' was considered too offensive, these days we're known as 'afterlife facilitators.'"

'Wait! Let's see if he gets up on his own.'

The Death Of Venus

The Origin of Creationism

"Who'd have thought old Harry would turn out to be a vampire?"

'I don't think you quite grasp our overall motif.'

'I had no idea would be a choice.'

"All it will do is move crime to the South Pole."

"And this is our new HR officer in charge of morale..."

"Are you Matthew Jones with a double 'T'?"

Vlad the Wholesaler

"From this you make a living?"

"Congratulations! You've made the short-list for who we're blaming."