Hellfire Enthusiasts Gifts

Some make better deals than others.

'We just invented cooking yesterday, and already she's serving leftovers!'

Finally! A cure for the common cold!

"I told you to pack a damned sweater."

'Aren't these marshmallows just going to make us plumper for when the bears ultimately eat us?'

'Your father's a genius kids. First he discovered fire and now marshmallows.'

They discover fire and we spend all day cooking!

'What do you mean, you can't get it to light?'

Shepherds washed their socks by night.

"The blaze has taken hold on the eight floor Chief. The C.E.O., V.P. and C.O.O. are trapped in the boardroom!!"

"and when they woke up, the kids discovered that the house had just one 19", black & white TV that only got... 3 channels."

The man who discovered smoke

Scotland Yard - coal heavers singing in a public house

The Biggest Forest Fire Starter

'Do you have to bring your work home with you?'

"I know, I know — it looks silly, but you can’t imagine how warm I am."

The sound of a crackling fire licking at seasoned logs...

'No fair, man. How come you get a dessert fork?'

'Look, fire is fire - Why try to develop theories about it?'

I tried insuring my house over the phone but they insisted on seeing it. It was on fire at the time...

Candles In Bed

"What do you think? Would flaming marshmallows make good torches?"

'On a more positive note, your hot flashes will seem relatively cool.'

Collecting logs

Smiley

Studying Fire Behavior

"I'm thinking that I may move hell to the west coast of the United States. There's more fire there."

'I warned: Play a sloppy game and, come Monday, there will be hell to pay during practice.'

Dog with chew toy.

Heroes

"If our heating bill goes up because of this, I'm blaming you."

Devil with Fire and Brimstone In-Trays.

'Don't get me wrong - hell is awful, but it could be so much more hellish. We have much to learn from them.'

Collecting wood for the fire.

Jimmy Hoffa in hell.