Helium Fan Gifts

'I have nothing against you being helium. It's your voice, Steven. Your squeaky, high voice!'

"To make this interview more entertaining I would like you to take a breath of helium before answering the questions."

"It's our most popular gift - a helium cookie."

Christian and Born again Christian...

"Hon, do you think it's time you took a break from the light therapy lamp?"

DIY marriage counseling.

The Lemmings of Montauk

Relationship Rating: His and Hers

Once Again Jeff Had Put Too Much Helium In The Party Balloons.

'Gluten-free manna will come in the second salvo.'

"I'm sorry, sir, but we're not MAGICIANS!"

'We need to try to regress you beyond the last seven seconds...'

"You dumb clod! Do you realize you're almost two minutes late?"

"Have you tried sitting in a box?"

'I have an expense account, but it's a joke.'

Therapy for the cow dependent

'The therapy did help your husband find his inner child, unfortunately his inner child is called Dwayne.'

"I can't take you anywhere!"

"How do you feel about turning over?"

"With the redundancy and the divorce I'm struggling to remain Mr. Happy."

"I wouldn't worry about it, in your case, the superiority complex just goes with this territory."

'Your snoring kept me awake all through December!'

'Dr Freud, this isn't comfortable. Why don't you sit on that chair?' 'That's not a bad idea.'

'I keep having these flashbacks.'

"I've changed my mind about your BOGOF offer."

"I'd like a portrait of me in the style of him."

'I don't know what it is, doc. I think I'm having a nervous breakdown.'

Just another day at Helium Farm

"Judging by your X-rays, I'd say you've been exposed to too much radiation."

Soccer Ball - "I'm sick and tired of being kicked around all the time."

Henry was hoping nobody would notice that he had lost his helmet...'

"Try taking baby steps."

'...And when I asked my parents if I was adopted, they said 'not yet.''