Helium Aficionado Gifts

"As for the helium treatments. . . things are lookin' up."

'I pledge allegiance to the atom, and to the periodic table on which it stands, many particles indivisible, with orbitals and electrons for all.'

Micro Psychiatry Clinic. You have a full schedule today, Doctor. The helium atom will be here to work on his fear of heights. The white blood cell with a germ phobia and amoeba with separation anxiety are coming in. The DNA molecule will be here about an identity crisis. And here, in the sports car, comes a new patient, a carbon-14 isotope. Ah, looks like he's going through a half-life crisis!

"To make this interview more entertaining I would like you to take a breath of helium before answering the questions."

Lots of personal improvement classes are going on down there. The white blood cells are teaching a self-defense class. The neuron is instructing others about improving communication skills. And a proton and cornea cell have teamed up to teach a class on staying focused and positive! Is the helium atom participating in any of this? No, he thinks he's above it all!

"It's our most popular gift - a helium cookie."

"Do you have anything by The Damned."

'Pop-up Bible.'

Once Again Jeff Had Put Too Much Helium In The Party Balloons.

"...9...8...7...6...5...4...3..."

Greatly enlarged view of newly discovered particle.

Sir Earnest Rutherford splits the opium.

'How about that? -- Lady Godiva got a bouffant!'

"Whatta you mean 'minor script changes?' It's supposed to be a western."

Garden genomes.

"I can't take you anywhere!"

"Now, see here, I've been wronged! Some no-good do-nothing rat pack got me sick, and I gotta know who!"

Just another day at Helium Farm

'Before we begin, let's say a little prayer for humility.'

The mysterious world of ligand substitution

'Wait a minute, this guy is missing a head Oh jeez, we're totally gonna crash,'

"I've changed my mind about your BOGOF offer."

Elon Musk caricature

'You don't need to be a rocket scientist to understand it but I am a rocket scientist.'

'Let's see, Schneebart — you'd better work on weak nuclear reactions.'

"Gale. Dorothy Gale."

William Tell's son wears hi-vis jacket and hard hat

The loneliness of the particle physicist...'Everyone's interested in things that are much, much larger.'

Balloon Man

"The president wants your helium for a national emergency."

A sign at a nuclear power plant - 'In case of emergency run!'

Protons, neutrons, electrons, and morons.

Helium Guitar Festival

'Hot enough for ya?'

"I thought you said the helium was only gonna make my voice higher."