Heist Humorist T-Shirts

'I knew I shouldn't get support tights!'

"I hate when this happens."

'Hey, I said no large bills.'

Night Deposits.

NutcrackersSafecrackers.

'I said just blow the bloody doors off.'

Early Ram Raids

"I didn't bother with the cash. They gave me a cheque instead!"

Edmond's former career as a rapper would often screw up his bank heists.

'All we can do is hope for identity theft.'

"O.K., one last big rhubarb score. But then I'm out of the pie game for good."

"Wow! That's an amazing welding project!"

"I started to think outside the box. Then I started to think outside the law."

The Mafia Goes Green.

'I'm afraid that driving the getaway car is more than just a driving offence, Mr. Jones.'

"Remember, we're an enlightened group. We victimize everyone. No hate crimes for us."

"I'm investigating the theft of a breadcrumb by an ant matching your description."

'I'm here due to an identity theft.'

The Mafia isn't what it used to be...

"Everybody freeze! This is a stickup!"

"Keep it running."

'I'm always broke because I keep getting MUGGED!'

'Hello, Mum!'

'With every 'Ying' there's a 'Yang'!'

Bank (with saloon type doors)

Valentines for Real Estate

"Well, you did say that you were just looking for something to get you started on the property ladder."

Estate agents lined up for sale during house-price slump.

"Ahem, if you're planning to rob the place could you please get a move on."

"Oh, and a five and five ones."

'Beats me why I took this place. No en-suite, no walk-in robe and no dining room!'

"Very well done, Samuels. But next time, don't forget your handcuffs."

Cuffwear, 2004

"THIS IS A HOLD UP!"

'Relax - we'll blame it on Curiosity.'