Heist Humorist T-Shirts

'I knew I shouldn't get support tights!'

"I hate when this happens."

'Hey, I said no large bills.'

Night Deposits.

NutcrackersSafecrackers.

'I said just blow the bloody doors off.'

Early Ram Raids

"I didn't bother with the cash. They gave me a cheque instead!"

"Where the hell is my Uber car?"

Edmond's former career as a rapper would often screw up his bank heists.

'All we can do is hope for identity theft.'

"Wow! That's an amazing welding project!"

"O.K., one last big rhubarb score. But then I'm out of the pie game for good."

"I started to think outside the box. Then I started to think outside the law."

The Mafia Goes Green.

'I'm afraid that driving the getaway car is more than just a driving offence, Mr. Jones.'

It looks like wood, but it's actually vinyl siding.

"I'm investigating the theft of a breadcrumb by an ant matching your description."

"Remember, we're an enlightened group. We victimize everyone. No hate crimes for us."

Oh, one door closes, another opens -- How have you been?

'I'm here due to an identity theft.'

The Mafia isn't what it used to be...

"Keep it running."

Bank (with saloon type doors)

'With every 'Ying' there's a 'Yang'!'

"Everybody freeze! This is a stickup!"

'Hello, Mum!'

'I'm always broke because I keep getting MUGGED!'

Valentines for Real Estate

"Well, you did say that you were just looking for something to get you started on the property ladder."

"Ahem, if you're planning to rob the place could you please get a move on."

Cuffwear, 2004

'Beats me why I took this place. No en-suite, no walk-in robe and no dining room!'

"Over here, doofus."

"THIS IS A HOLD UP!"