Heirloom Humorist Pillows

"Someday, son, this window-treatment will be yours."

"Someday, son, all this will be yours."

"We only got six days of funding."

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

'What - NINE whole lives for only ONE eternity?'

"Surgery up here is free!"

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

'Of course homosexuality is not a sin, handsome.'

"All we have left is standing room only."

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

'It's not for myself, you understand."

The Adventures of God

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

A surprise in heaven

'We've re-branded.'

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

"I do tech support for the cloud."

'On second thought, let's try it the other way around... My head on a lion's body.'

"Some mid-life crisis that turned out to be."

'I knew if we waited long enough, heaven would downsize.'

The wooden clothes horse of Troy.

"Suddenly, you’re a fan of New England stone work?"

"You are running low on cloud storage space. Please upgrade your account to continue."

"Look at their faces! What did they expect? They never visited her! Of course the will says her money goes to the cat shelter. . ."

"I feel like tearing of all your clothes and putting them in the washing machine."

'Sorry guys... budget cuts !'

"Is this what I want to be doing with my death?"

'Are you sure You can be objective? -After all, You did CREATE them.'

'Look man, no wings!'

'Stocks plummeted on news of your demise.'

"Actually, I think you looked better WITH a beard."