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"Someday, barring a leveraged buy-out, a hostile takeover, or a substantial increase in estate taxes, this will all be yours."

"I brought you up here today, son, because I wanted you to get a feel for the scope of this damned thing."

"Any idea how long your family might be visiting?"

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

"You never told me your dad was so delightfully old-fashioned."

'I'm not saying your mother is senile but she just vacuum bagged the cat!'

"My daughter tells me you want to become a doctor."

"I consider every member of our family to be like family."

“I have to warn you - my parents are a bit old-fashioned.”

"We located the hissing noise, Mr. Watkins. Your wife's mother is in the back seat."

"Attention, wanna-be son-in-law ... we're losing!"

Stockwell's day

'See, Dear? Told you I'd make it fit!'

First Steps

"I've been in the doghouse ever since I tried to get my mother-in-law hanged as a witch."

Alfred Marquez, Probate Attorney - Heir club for men.

"A gentleman would offer his seat."

'I guess you've noticed that most of these trespasses are reruns.'

"That's how my father looked when I told him I was going to marry you."

'We can't move in with my parents - they've moved in with grandma!'

'You are right, honey, it's raining too much. It's not the best day to visit my mom.'

"Yes, I've made three resolutions - not to drink less, not to stop watching football on telly and not to spend more time at your mother's."

'Mummy, Daddy, this is Dylan. Dylan's ambition is to make conkers a recognized Olympic sport.'

'He takes after your mother' (colour)

"If it slows down, just ask my father about the murder he always swears he did not commit."

"Mum, Dad... I'd like you to meet my fiance, Goldilocks."

"Mom, could we stay in my old room until we're able to afford a place of our own?"

'It's time you learned, son - in-laws and outlaws aren't necessarily opposites.'

"She may be awhile. Her mother's helping her park."

"Remember, they're just as afraid of you as you are of standing up to your mother."

It's a good thing our neighbors don't know what weirdos we are.

'He just outlawed his in-laws.'

'It's only fair Geraldine. I had to meet your parents.'

'We're the Meeks and we're here to see about our inheritance of the Earth.'

'Someday, Son, all this will be your ex-wife's.'