Heir With Humor T-Shirts

"One day Son all this will be yours."

'What the... MOM! This isn't deer! It's a yucky tourist again!!'

Facts of life - The birds and the dogs.

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

"I don't know, kids. I've been a stay-at-home dad for so long it just sort of... happened."

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

"Look what I found. Can we keep him?" "Wow! A real pirate!!" "Go ask your mother."

"I haven't started playing the violin. I hide my vegetables in here!"

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

For speedy operation and ease of control get a pony.

'Stop cracking and hulling his seeds. He's accustomed to working for his food.'

'It's no problem, Mom. Samantha just likes to check on my table manners.'

"Look at their faces! What did they expect? They never visited her! Of course the will says her money goes to the cat shelter. . ."

'Fancy us all being afraid of wasps when there's a WHOLE nest of 'em in my drinks cabinet!'

"Suddenly, you’re a fan of New England stone work?"

"I don't know why I worry...Baldo's just a normal boy. It's good to see him maturing...making friends...with nice girls...exploring new feelings...and desires.... You have to go home now."

"Okay, you scared the babysitter...now get back in there and rinse off that toothpaste, and go to bed!"

'I have a limited vocabulary because I'm a child, what's your excuse?'

"You can't make me eat Brussel sprouts Mum: it's illegal to force-feed geese in this country!"

"You want to be a comedian? You can't be serious!"

Daffodil bulbs

'A boy at school was named after his father. They've called him Dad.'

Baby, baby maker

"No thanks, mom. I don't think I'll have any broccoli short cake."

"There's got to be a better way to raise potatoes!"

'Another balloon animal? And who do you think ends up taking care of these?'

Woman telling her husband not to swear in front of the baby.

'Cycle shop' selling puncture repair kits next door to a 'Sex shop' selling inflatable dolls

"I can skip my bath. On the way home I jumped in all the puddles."

'Where's my horse?'

"He's the one family member who doesn't care if I post hundreds of photos of him online."

'Mummy, why did you teach me to walk?'

"Geese fly in a V, son--attorneys fly in a wedge."