Heir Apprentice T-Shirts

Alfred Marquez, Probate Attorney - Heir club for men.

"I'd like a new tire for my 1976 Chevy Chevette."

"There are the arts, the sciences, agriculture, and commerce. Stick with commerce, if you know what's good for you."

"For my next trick, I'll need a volunteer, a fake knife, and a mirrored box with a secret compartment."

"Gee, I never saw that coming."

"And for my next trick, I will confuse general politeness for chemistry."

'She's still a novice yet.'

'Let's see. One dozen red wigglers, two dozen nightcrawlers,three dozen crickets. Want flies with that?'

'When you invented vegetables, Sir, did you know that my mother would be able to fit them all into one garden?'

'I've been told I have Rembrandt's golden glow.'

Who posted the hilarious pics of you with the goofy haircut? Not sure. Someone who wants to humiliate me. One of the usual cyber bullies. No. Meaner. Hmm

"For my next trick, I'll require an audience."

Young Houdini

"I thought I put on my 'big boy' pants this morning but apparently they were my 'fire me' pants."

'Someday, son...all this will be Mine.'

"My dog always knows when it's about to rain."

'Someday, son, all this will be yours...' 'In the meantime...'

yesterday i brought my son this magic set and...

'I'll be back Friday - don't try anything funny while I'm away.'

"I've taught him to do tricks, he wants you to pick a card."

Spider Preschool.

I don't care if your friend has a flight simulator. You're going to learn to fly on your own.

'One day this will all be...' 'Just die already!'

'There! I've attached a sundial to the wheel. I'm going to name it a 'Rolex'!'

Photocopying his ass was not as easy as he'd been led to believe.

"Sure, he's ascended to a god-like state. But from what I hear, he's still on his family's cell phone plan."

"Great act - but let's see how he does on the written test."

'Winter days not nice enough for gardening.'

'Millionaires Club - Self-Made - Inherited'

Fishing - with flies

People enter and leave a training school.

The training halo...

'Someday, Son, you'll probably reject all this.'

Magician tells of Apprentice

Youth Unemployment - 'There's an apprenticeship opportunity on TV tonight.'