Height Humor Fans Pillows

"I not only respect women, I look up to them."

"Consider yourself lucky that you only got a little shaken up in that dryer--socks get lost in that thing and aren't ever seen again.'

'Oh, nothing's wrong -- I just expected Earthlings to be taller, that's all.'

In utero...boy, THOSE were the days!

'We found you in a cabbage!'

Tequila Mockingbird

'NO, it DOESN'T come on DISC!'

"Pumpkin spice has been very good to me."

Paul Bunyan gets the leg-lengthening Operation

"You're doing fine - don't watch your feet."

'Guess who's teething?'

Jungle Games

'Henry, cut that out.'

'You've made a breakthrough in FINANCIAL research?', 'Yep! - I split the ATM!'

"Relax, he could just be looking for fun."

'Yes, I did tell you to hang the fire extinguisher where it would be easy to reach, but...'

'Hi! I'm a freshman -- when do I get corrupted?'

Circus Stilt-Walker with Girlfriend.

Beer Lunch

Sure, snoring is a big issue at our house too: you've seen the size of my dad's nose...

Giraffe Haircut

"Oh you kids and that cursed painting in the closet keep me young."

Under New Mismanagement

"That's still too high"

"What?!"

"When you said we were going to push the boat out tonight, I thought you meant we were going to a fancy restaurant!"

Sawrd Fighting

Top Ten Elevator Hits of All Time

Pastoral Choirs

"I hate when this happens."

'Look, that peasant is eating something -- the economy's on the move again!'

"Really, yes, I'm on a diet too: I need to almost double my summer weight before the start of the winter hibernation..."

"It's not you, I just prefer big dogs."