Hedge Perfectionist Pillows

"Well, that's created a little order in a world of chaos."

Gardener clipping topiary stairs

"First time pruning?"

Bullseye!

"Hmmm, this might just be not funny enough for The New Yorker."

This is NOT 'nipping out'.

"By God, for a minute there it suddenly all made sense!"

'I told you, you were missing a decimal point.'

"Al emerged from his man cave and saw crabgrass. That means 6 months of obsessing about crabgrass."

"I've heard of being organized, but isn't this a little obsessive compulsive?"

"Beware of God"

You can tell when the blades get dull on your rotary nose-hair clippers.

Perfection

'Oh, sure, it gets the creative juices going, but is it worth the cost?'

Dispose of unproductive fruit trees.

Cuts, Measurements, Certain, Sloppy

"It's called being preemptive."

"In this series, the artist is in dialogue with her printer."

'I'm a narcissist? - Are you saying I'm not perfect?'

'this is the only place where no one is fooling around with the genes.'

Christmas Present Wrapping Service.

"You're welcome."

"Being happy with one's work is the kiss of death."

A tailor measuring a jacket.

Desk trays - 'Do it' and 'Do it right this time'.

"Let's go, this is definitely a manicured lawn: we won't find clover or dandelions here..."

Secateurs/Non-Secateurs.

Bazzini & Sons Lawn Service: 'We don't cut corners'.

"...And then beyond the lawn, a lily pool with fountains and..."

Woman trying to straighten a picture of the Leaning Tower of Pisa.

"I'm desperate, John. Please lend me your lawnmower."

'Must be Pandora's.'

'My holiday season: A rich tradition of belated giving and premature babbling.'

"Come on, we're late. Your crosshatching looks fine."