Heavenly Hopeful Pillows

'He made it big in the athlete prayer industry.'

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

"You're kidding! You count S.A.T.s?"

'The best part is being able to fly without taking off your shoes.'

'What did He do before he was God?'

Geese and Angels

"I've got dominion, I've got dominion..."

"They're exactly the same, except in Hell you have to put on your own duvet cover."

Cherub on a cloud

"Imagine! In the past year alone, Thomas Jefferson has learned to speak Swahili and play the glockenspiel."

Life on cloud 8

Angels Playing Frisbee with a Halo.

'Osgood was a theologian back on Earth, and he thought all this stuff would be allegorical.'

"Mr. Jenkins' idea of paradise is a never occupied loo, a big flat screen with hundreds of free sports channels and a fridge that always gets refilled with beer and pizza."

They couldn't Convince Jimmy, the Smoke-Detector Salesman, that he hadn't gone to Heaven

'I know we're laying up treasures in Heaven, but I still think you should talk to the Church Board about your pension,'

The spirit's flight

'Relax, you are in doggy heaven. I'm just from a temp service.'

"This is great. This could be franchised."

Heavenly Ships

'I‘ll be relieved when they invent the aeroplane, these long trips are playing havoc with my wings'.

"'Smoking' or 'Non-Smoking'?"

The Ladder to Heaven

"No sir, we do not have beer here."

Pearly Queen Gates

"Not now, Elaine—I'm on my man-cloud."

Heaven's Cattlegrid.

"I was an attorney, but I was also one heck of a nice guy."

"What a relief."

Heaven.

The trouble with cats going to heaven.