Heaven Seeker Gifts

'Do you have a spot close to Bob Hope?'

"You have to let me in! -- I belonged to a megachurch!"

"Good game."

2021

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

"Son, it's time you learned the benefits of sitting around doing nothing."

Marimba

"This next one is called 'The Sermon on the Mount.'"

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

'Enlightenment isn't EITHER overrated!'

"I think we'd make a good team!"

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

'Don't just sit there thinking. Meditate.'

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

What We Thought Were Canals Are Deep Prejudices and Inequities.

'Before you can enter, you need to punch in the verification code so we can be certain that you're a real soul,'

He avoids wrath, envy, lust, greed, gluttony and sloth -- the problem is he's proud of it!

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

"Well, that certainly killed my buzz."

"All we have left is standing room only."

"Then one day, as I caught a tennis ball in midair, I asked myself, 'Is this all there is?'"

"Needs to get a life"

'Of course homosexuality is not a sin, handsome.'

"Nature speaks to me of God’s presence, yet God is a total stranger to the restless world of men." "Why the #!@* is there no signal?!"

"How do you say ‘Where is the bathroom’ in Sanskrit?"

'The meaning of life is dog food.'

A man deflates and dissolves into the ground and becomes a flower.

Zenemies.

My God, I need to fart.