God Seeker Gifts

Priest And Aliens

"Good game."

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

Squeezing the Free Press.

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

"Son, it's time you learned the benefits of sitting around doing nothing."

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"

'How can we believe anything when we can disprove everything?'

"This next one is called 'The Sermon on the Mount.'"

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

Kid to pastor: 'Which office is heaven?'

"It's such a lovely day!"

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

"...And do you Sean Spicer take Kelly Anne Conway..." "The marriage of alternative facts"

Press Freedom

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

'Enlightenment isn't EITHER overrated!'

"Eat not of the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge. Its sources have yet to be verified."

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

'Don't just sit there thinking. Meditate.'

"Needs to get a life"

"All we have left is standing room only."

'Of course homosexuality is not a sin, handsome.'

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

"Nature speaks to me of God’s presence, yet God is a total stranger to the restless world of men." "Why the #!@* is there no signal?!"

He avoids wrath, envy, lust, greed, gluttony and sloth -- the problem is he's proud of it!

'A sitcom has to be quirky or formulaic. There is no middle way.'

Zenemies.

"Then one day, as I caught a tennis ball in midair, I asked myself, 'Is this all there is?'"

'The meaning of life is dog food.'

"How do you say ‘Where is the bathroom’ in Sanskrit?"

A man deflates and dissolves into the ground and becomes a flower.