Paradise Seeker Gifts

'I'm semi-retired.'

Aloha!

'I can't stand his 'holier than thou' attitude.'

"Wow-everything still has that just-created smell!"

CCTV In Operation.

'On Cloud Ten'

Sign to entrance of Garden of Eden.

"What a cute little spot for us to eventually get into a fight in!"

'Somewhere where men won't be undressing me with their eyes!'

'I love this country - its weather, beauty, tax-free status, non-extradition laws...'

'I always wanted to retire early.'

'Were there any decisions made at the grocers conference in Hawaii?' 'Yes, we decided to have the next conference in Hawaii.'

'My ears are burning too - do you think they're talking about us at the bank?'

'He's never satisfied - Now he says that walking around on soggy clouds gives him arthritis.'

'If you couldn't get into clubs, what makes you think you can get in here?'

Lei-ing Hens

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

Sauvignon Bonk

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

"I've switched my energy provider, and I switched my broadband provider. Now I want to switch my misery provider."

"I have a huge house, millions in the bank, and a twenty year old wife. But am I happy?..."

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

'We would like an unspoiled paradise, but with lots of shops.'

Off to see the world

'See you in two weeks!'

Stockbroker and Psychotherapist: Money won't make you happy and therapy won't make you rich.

There is no hurricane season in Aruba...

"I knew you were mad when I found nettles in my fig leaf drawer."

"Well, I finally figured out why we were going to the vet so often for check ups! He finally plucked up the courage to ask her out!"

Aim for the Stars, Settle for an Asteroid

Speed Dating.

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

The Death of the Blues

Jumping Man