Destiny Seeker Gifts

'Know your future - palmistry, tarot cards, DNA screening'

'...and you cannot change a thing, as you are completely controlled by your genes.'

Today's lecture by Tom P. Malone, author of 'Finding Your True Calling In Life,' has been cancelled due to the author's realization that he'd rather be a fireman.

"I had to decide—am I living for the American Kennel Club, or am I living for me?"

"I always felt like I was destined for something big. But I'm not sure it's worth the effort."

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

"I forsee you will have a better chance of winning the lottery than growing your testicles back."

Your enemy is defeated by Fate

"I'm not sure you'll want to know this."

Li'l Bill meets destiny.

Aim for the Stars, Settle for an Asteroid

'I can't stand his 'holier than thou' attitude.'

"It will be all your fault."

'No, I didn't get a presidential pardon, but I got something better. God has forgiven me.'

'I really don't know how you got here with your life line!'

Lei-ing Hens

"Are there any extra crew on board? He still looks hungry."

'I believe there's an unseen hand behind everything we do.'

Eureka

'I'm not asking for a raise Mr. Betenheeler, but would it be possible for you to treat me as a human being?'

"So, is this a date with destiny?"

The Great Maldini and his Venomous Snakes

"What a cute little spot for us to eventually get into a fight in!"

'Just putt the dang ball, already!'

"Looks like something exciting is happening in R&D."

Fortune teller describes to angler the size of the fish he's going to catch.

"You'll do laundry, you'll drink water...oh, and what's this? In the near future you'll clip your fingernails."

Mice Cutting Up A Cat's Tail

"Holly and Michael were growing envious of their son's imaginary friend… Rickey and me are going to the Knicks game with Bruce Springsteen!"

"And God called the light day."

"Your life will soon resemble a soggy old clump of leaves."

Cinderella

"You’ll meet a beautiful woman whom your mother will loathe."

"I'll be right back."

Aloha!