Heartfelt Advisor Gifts

'My advice to a first year teacher is to teach from the heart, not only from the book.'

Miss Lonelyhearts Advice to the Lovelorn

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

"What I’ve learned is you have to look deep inside your heart and ask yourself, ‘What is it that she really wants to hear?’"

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

'The secret to great wealth and spiritual contentment? Ok, hold on...I think I've got an app for that..'

'God's forgiveness of sins ... is that like a spiritual bailout program?'

"Look - I'm cold, you're cold. Why don't we settle down and start a family?"

"'Procreate'! I've climbed all this way to hear that the meaning of life is 'procreate'?!"

"I don’t know how many ways I can explain it. One morning you’ll just wake up and know that you’re in love."

'You're in luck. Business ethics is a gray area.'

"I seek enlightenment - and a way to outsource our company's tech support."

"Really? a frikkin' math question?"

"All the celebrities come here."

The spirit in the wall would go on and ond, but Alvin never let it bother him.

“Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!?”

"People who don't believe in soulmates just haven't met the right animal."

A man reads a book called 'Opening Lines' while a woman reads a book called 'Brush Offs'.

Book of Life, Answers in Back.

"Welcome aboard - That'll be your work station over there."

'Look at you. You're a basket case.'

"I love how he finds joy in the simple things." "The emotional burden of alleviating his depression is crushing me."

'Hello, Pastor Parker here. Thank you for calling moral support. Your call may be monitored to ... '

'Oh, the guru is up on the next peak -- I'm his agent.'

"How do I get down?"

A faulty part from an independent supplier leads to the creation of a multibillion-dollar sports medicine profession.

'There are signs of improvement but I wouldn't order Christmas cards with both your names on them.'

Happy Valentine's Day

On Holiday

"We call out to you, please reveal yourself, oh Spirit of Innovation."

"I dreamed last night that I had a job within walking distance."

"The meaning of life at a glance"

'John, this is where you should declare your underlying love and tell Miriam she's the wind beneath your wings...'

"What is it you'd like to know about incentives, my son?"

"Since both of us believe in reincarnation, what if I pay you all the money I owe you in the next life?"