Heartbreaker Gifts

'He's gone off me-he had a FULL tank!'

"Men just won't leave me alone!"

"You seem to have a certain type of effect on men."

"I met him on an online dating site. He was on their 'return' section."

'Let's not go by the book.'

"This is my new country song I wrote about my self-driving truck leaving me..."

'No swimming. No breathing.'

Yet another law of the jungle: 'Absolutely NO howling at the moon after 11 PM!

Woman's Support Group: No Bra, No Griddle, No Service.

'Well, I must say I never thought team-building exercises could be such fun.'

Walk or don't. You're a grown man. Make your own decisions.

'I shoulda told you guys. . . Marmaduke makes up his own rules as we go along.'

'No, you can't use your last wish, to wish for another three wishes!'

"Sorry, Rick, but no thongs means no thongs."

'In Show and Tell today, I showed my birthmark! I got expelled!'

To attract a bigger audience, the world chess federation allow fans to distract an opponent when it's his move.

'Don't be so dramatic and get into my office!'

"Worst breach of corporate dress code I've ever witnessed."

'Hey, hey, hey!'

"You may inflict pain, but it mustn't be severe or prolonged."

Blues artis's daily list

'Read that last part back to me.'

Rejuvenile Delinquents.

'You haven't heard the best thing. . .no referees.'

'Rules are there to be broken, my friend.'

'I feel like I'm in a rut, too!'

'I hate having to go outside for a cigarette!'

"We can try and mend the damaged heart, but not a broken one."

Pole Vault Rules

"Stop with this mathematics dictatorship."

'Oi mate! No hoods in the shopping mall.'

'Isn't that a little extreme? - Cloning yourself just so you can use the carpool lane?'

'I see. So what you're saying is that you woke up this morning and your woman had done left you.'

'No Mis Evans. You know only substitute teachers are allowed to carry taser guns!'

Henrietta was never one to conform to society's labels. She preferred to think of herself as an 'off-Rhode lsland Red'...