Heartbeat Analyzer T-Shirts

dog reading EKG

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

Yesterday I had an argument with the janitor of my building, and then last night I dreamed that he was chasing me with a large ball-peen hammer

Hypochodriac worrying about his heart.

'Listen, Geoffrey ...I know you're a clinical psychologist, but I DON'T have A.D.D. ! You're just incredibly boring.'

Give me a child at seven and I will show you the MAN!

Interpreter for the hard-to-believe-what-they're-hearing.

"That song in your heart has a nice beat to it."

"I need to relax? Oh, you'd love that, wouldn't you?"

Bob's Heart Valves 'N' Stuff (store is open)

"I think I've found the trouble, Mr. Nadler!"

"Don't feel bad. Shallow people make my job easy."

"Because you always do that with your fingers."

"How is it that Mick Jagger still has the energy to be Mick Jagger, but you're exhausted just from being you."

Field hockey injury? A doctor will see you after the football concussion

"You can't check my pulse while I'm checking your pulse!"

"Of course, you understand you can't possibly stay here tonight."

'Wow, excellent turnout.'

"I'm feeling great but I'm worried that that might just be a symptom!"

'Tell me more about your premonition of impending dom, Mr Syms...'

"Thumpety-Thump, Thumpety-Thump, …. Ka-Chunk, Ka-Chunk, Ka-Chunk,… Thumpety-Thump. Thumpety-Thump……"

Your heartbeat makes me want to do the cha-cha. It's ironic that if a woman says that, it's a good thing, yet if a doctor says that, it's a bad thing.

"I hear the heartbeat of Manhattan."

'You don't have to tell me I have arrhythmia, man, like I'm a percussionist.'

Blessed are the pacemakers.

'He can sit there and watch his heart rate monitor for hours.'

Nancy Ruth is speaking today....

'Sometimes she's like a wave, sometimes she's like a particle.'

'We're looking for someone who has enormous confidence during the day and who wakes up worried sick at night.'

"I've concluded a meta analysis of the myriad of tests we've run and I think I can say with a certain level of certainty that you are probably screwed...."

"I think I may have stood next to someone who might have been near a place where they suspect one of their customer's partners could have had a temperature... So I've come for a Covid test."

"The thing that should bother me don't - should I be worried?"

"Uh-oh, I think I hear a lawsuit."

We believe taking the fast lane on the highway of life just gets you to the exit ramp sooner.

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