Audience Analyzer T-Shirts

'Wow, excellent turnout.'

"But can't I be feared and loved?"

Skeptic Tank.

Taking a peek at the audience

Off Duty.

"I now what you've come to expect from me is physical comedy, but tonight I thought we'd try something a little different."

"Are you talking down to me, Evans? Because I don't like it when people talk down to me."

Business coach hiding in speach desk.

By the year 2500, 1 in 10 academics will devote their entire career to divining the meaning of the word 'sussudio'.

How to engage an audience

"I'm leaving a little early as I wasn't in quite so late this morning."

Giant screen displays conference delegates and not the speaker.

"This poem was written at a time in my life when I wrote a poem."

Little guy using telescope to see past a big guy blocking his view in the crowd,

Armless chainsaw juggler.

"I wanted to talk to the boss about the alarming sick leave level but ten minutes ago he called in sick..."

'If you're a public servant, what does that make ME?'

'Your attention span is not very long.'

And with that, the simple malaise that had been bubbling up for months officially became a general malaise.

'I can't help politicizing everything!'

Hypnotist - "You are going into a deeeep sleeep"

"I have headaches, stomach, pains, aching muscles, back pains, creaking joints, nausea and dry eyes."

"It occurs to me, Engelhardt, that I've never truly tested the limits of my power."

Manager: 'EXCELLENT promoting Jan! It's another RECORD crowd!'

"That's it! I'm giving up TV! Every single show is awesome! So now nothing is worth watching."

"One BHK, two baths, and sixty three plug points."

A Concert Audience - A Typical Layout.

"What I'd give for a heckler!"

Campaign Office. Help! I've fallen in the polls and I can't get up!

'Does my bum look big on this'

"Any more questions?"

An audience with an audience!

The Proper Authorities, The Quasi-Proper Authorities, and Jocko.

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"I'm pretty sure I'm a hypochondriac sucking up scarce resources with my imaginary ailments....but I thought I'd come in and get a second opinion."