Healthy-turned-indulgent T-Shirts

'I've had a really hard day -- make it a two-trip salad bar.'

"5 chocolate brownies, 3 banana muffins, 4 caramel cookies and one cappuccino - skinny."

Chocs away.

"Shouldn't you use a plate?"

'Chocolate never tasted so good as when I sneak a piece while dieting.'

'Therapy?'

Eating ice cream.

"And it was at the moment I realized that the only thing holding me back from culinary excellence was a bucket-load of butter."

Dessert

'Compliments to the chef from tables eight and nine, raves from bables twelve and fourteen, and proposals of marriage from tables seventeen, eighteen and nineteen.'

"Do you know donuts have fewer calories than you? I guess that would explain your muffin top."

"Unfortunately for my waistline, the only thing sweeter than mom's holiday greeting is her holiday eating!"

M.D. I suppose that will be okay, but no more milk and cookies starting tomorrow.

'Red for me, please.'

Bangers and Mash

"I avoid the 3 'Bs' when I'm dieting - boxes, buckets and bags."

'What I like about these diet pills is that they're chocolate covered.'

"We shouldn't have sugar, wine, beer, cake...we may not live longer but it sure will feel as if we do!"

"He's really healthy, except for the grilled cheese."

'Never mind the fresh food nurse - at my age I need all the preservatives I can get!'

Edith told Hank that if he gained any more weight, she's leave him. Hank just wanted the cake and Edith too.

"I'm fairly sure you can't count jaffa cakes as one of your five a day."

'What's the 'catch of the day'?'

"I've kept both of my New Year's resolutions! Three donuts a day and more time in my pyjamas!"

Supermarket Aisles.

It's the same dessert but because of its antioxidants, we call it Life by Chocolate."

'Have you noticed that when you're on a diet the food you cheat with tastes so much better.'

"The only thing healthy in this corporate culture is the yogurt in that snack machine."

'Is it organic?'

'Do you have something that's good for you, but tastes like it's bad for you?'

'If I collapse there's a cherry danish in my lunchbox.'

'The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it!'

'I just laid a new magic floor and it's talking to you: 'Lose weight! Lose weight!'

"I'm afraid I'm going to have to cancel your Thanksgiving."

Fantasy Diet League