Healthy Snack Adventurer T-Shirts

"They're healthy? All this time, Mom said carrots and raisins were nature's candy!"

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

Garlic Free Zone.

Anti-inflammation recipes

International House of Excrement

'New Barbeque.'

Motivation to Keep Fit.

'Mom can I have another apple?'

'The Ailing Matisse tries cutting out meat and dairy products.'

Beef Wellingtons

"Cooking Tip # 23: If at first you don't succeed, feed it to the cat."

'Advanced warning: High cholesterol 10mtrs ahead.'

The First Vegetarians.

Baking

'We're starting a new diet today -- do you want your tofu scrambled or fried?'

'I don't care if we mostly eat protein - on a hot day like this I have a craving for ice cream.'

"What is it going to be, a breakfast or shampoo?"

"Why have you brought me here?"

'I'll try the 'Hippy meal'.'

'Add three eggs, a pinch of salt, two ounces of olive oil and the phone number of a local pizza in delivery in case this recipe doesn't work out.'

'Then I add the juice of one bottle of brandy.'

"Every time I go near the refrigerator, my fitness app somehow locks it. I think they're both conspiring against me."

'Every time you eat lotus, an hour later you forget.'

"Don't worry. This year I have a new recipe."

Go Veggie...

Obese Hansel and Grettle

"...when oil begins shimmering...stir in vegetables and cook until tender."

"More protein? How about some veggies once in a while?"

'His snacks and his meals are beginning to OVERLAP!'

The only sound preventative health advice for holiday eating.

What to serve to meet most dietary restrictions

Octopus

"The key to being a writer is to take all the sadness and turmoil deep in the center of your being and channel it into a diet cookbook."

"The abattoir hasn't any butchers so you'll have to help yourself a bit more than usual."

'We'll take three of the big bags... oh boy! This stuff always tastes better at the ballpark!'