Healthy Eating Humor Pillows

'This is the only way to make him eat fruit...'

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

"I've had enough sweets for one day."

"Do you realize what the sodium content of this water is?"

'It was at this point that I insisted all employees eat their vegetables.'

Spanx Tells Me No

"We learnt about nutrition at school today Mum: Our diet didn't rate well at all..."

A psychic predicts the discovery of gluten.

'When I die could you preserve my liver for medical research? You've done that already.'

"I'm trying to eat more vegetarians."

'Chocolate covered raisins, chocolate covered strawberries...is not what I mean when I said that fruit is healthy for you.'

A worm sits in comfort as he has just eaten 4 apples by himself...

Overweight Man With Skipping Rope - To Be Taken 3 Times A Day.

Hello, sir, we're the post-Halloween, leftover candy, concerned citizens patrol.

'Does it come in soy lite?'

'I don't like to complain, but I'm getting a little tired of crudités.'

You're going to give me a hay fever shot? Shouldn't I be getting an anti hay fever shot?

I've been trying to cut back on my salt intake. I'd also like to do that, but unfortunately, my main source of salt comes from tears streaming into my mouth.

"We shouldn't have sugar, wine, beer, cake...we may not live longer but it sure will feel as if we do!"

"I'm afraid a hearing aid will make me look old."

"Patient. . . seems. . . reluctant. . . to get his. . . prostate. . . checked. . ."

Angry Santa Letter

Diet Donuts - (Bigger holes).

Woman with sardine tin with warning that it may contain mutant whale-size sardines.

'If we could just figure out some high-energy diet, we wouldn't have to spend the hole day eating.'

'I tell you what: Mistress' lap was so much more comfortable before she started her diet...'

"On this diet, you can eat all you want of anything you can grow."

Computer: 'You-are-spending-too-much-time-interfacing-with-food'

"I like the idea of getting rid of our junk food, but instead of throwing the fridge out, you could've just thrown the food out."

CITY CLINIC: 'I want to see whichever doctor is the fattest.'

Good news! We determined the hair in your vegan soup is from the chef's fake fur coat!

"Sure, dead meat is good...it's just that sometimes I'd like a nice salad or a fruit cup!"

'This is spinach, Grandma. Spinach isn't grandmotherly.'

Egyptians stuck in position line up to see the chiropractor.

"Has anyone in your family ever had a history of exercise?"