Healthcare Whistleblower Gifts

NHS whistleblowers leavers party.

"File a complaint if you want, but I should warn you, we're pretty good at covering their own butts."

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

'Just follow these simple instructions.'

"When it comes to medical malpractice, most lawyers only go for the money... ...I go for the doctor's head."

Tempest in a Teapot

'Where's the petty cash?'... 'It's in the box marked Pension Fund.'

'Excuse me, sir. Could you spare $2000,000 to treat an uninsurable pre-existing condition?'

Toxic Waste Lorry/Toxic Additives Lorry

"If they can rig emissions tests, why can't they fake crash tests too?"

"And once we wipe out the disease, where does that leave us?"

"According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything."

'The surgery is expensive. We'll have to numb you from the wallet down.'

'It's a brand new state-of-the-art waiting room.'

Stafford Hospital - Twinned with Hell.

Minister rubbishes private sector hospital initiative.

"You know it's the American drug companies that give you the headache that is cured by the pills they sell you."

"We tried every fix the insurance companies allow but it still won't fly!"

NHS targets

"Rumours of a crisis in the NHS are groundless...Spending is up by 2%, management ratios down by 62%..."

"Today we insure every American and end the need for private health insurance."

'So if you DO break up which of you will be keeping the untreated patients and bankrupt hospitals?'

"That's too big a pill for me to swallow, Harold!"

The world of medicine as we know it, will end soon.

Playing doctor: 'This time I get to play the HMO bureaucrat who decides if you live or die.'

'Nothing about universal health care?'

"I'm sorry, Mr Percival, but what you've got is not economically treatable."

"Do a double-blind test. Give the new drug to rich patients and a placebo to the poor. No sense getting their hopes up. They couldn't afford it even if it works."

Take one Per Day as Affordable.

Cubicle Slavery

Cook for 3 minutes stir, wait 30 years to discover if the contaminated ingredient gives you stomach cancer.

The future of the NHS

'I wish the city fathers would do more about its citizens' health care needs!'

"In lieu of an exit interview, he just emailed a string of emojis about how he felt about the company and his boss."

Weight Loss Clinic: 100% guaranteed.