Healthcare Satirists Gifts

'Let's begin your exam with a simple coordination test. Swipe your credit card.'

WHAT I DON'T UNDERSTAND IS HOW ALL THREE OF US MANAGED TO GET THE FIGURES WRONG

'To reduce skyrocketing medical costs, we'll decrease the availability of care-givers!'

'Need some kidneys.'

'...and would you like to upgrade today's payment with your x-rays on a t-shirt, coffee mug, or photo package?'

Regulators claim practices are overloaded with patient surveys.

GPs could be forced to switch IT systems onto new NHS digital contract

'Open wide... wider... wider still...'

"Your insurance covers just enough hand rehabilitation to insure you can open your bills."

"It certainly looks like an empty bed. We'll need a second opinion."

"How would you rate your tolerance for pain on a scale of 0 to 10? It's for billing purposes."

So, you'd like a battery of unnecessary tests that aren't covered by insurance .. Are you sure about this? Doctor-Assisted Financial Suicide.

"This is all Obama's fault! If he hadn't invented the Affordable Care Act, we wouldn't be in this mess..!"

'Our next panel expert will discuss the new benefits...and needs no further introduction...'

'What do you mean,take two aspirins and call me in the morning?'

New Bill to Let Police Search Practises.

'How are you feeling apart from the fever?'

'Which health plan are you on?'

'Before she died, she donated your organs.'

NHS Efficiency Drive

'Heart attack, Romanian...I need bank details, credit rating, blank invoices Now!'

NHS Patients - Cheap ones and expensive ones

"I know other hospitals are worried about the superbug, but ours is the only one that understands the accounts system."

Providing Healthcare For All

'Maybe it is psychosomatic.'

'I think it's damn unprofessional for a dermatologist to scream 'Yikes' like that.'

'We'll need to run some preliminary tests to see if you're healthy enough for more invasive follow-up tests.'

'As you know, medical costs have skyrocketed -- that'll be fifty cents.'

'I only got up for a drink of water, and a queue's formed next to my bed.'

We can't call the doctor, we can't call the nurse, we have to call the lady with the alligator purse.

Auto parts, Lite Puff Pastries, & Health Insurance Exchange.

'Take one of these three times a day until you start to feel better.'

'You can tell your grandkids, you rode the most expensive vehicle on Earth!'

'The doctors say I have a rare illness that turns people into birds - it's untweetable.'

'The food here isn't too bad, just try not to swallow !'