Healthcare Professional's Desk Gifts

"It appears you have medication forgetfulness disorder, which, as you can imagine, is untreatable."

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

"It does have a side effect. You'll faint when I tell you how much it will cost to produce."

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

'I'll be late for dinner, dear, I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

'I really enjoyed my stay in the hospital - I never get served breakfast in bed at home.'

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

"Jackie, why does your relationship status read ‘capitulated to’ me?!"

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

Man is stopped from entering doctor's surgery by a receptionist dressed as a bouncer.

"Morning, all!"

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract."

"I'm afraid we'll have to operate. Your appendix has an infection and it's extremely aggressive."

'Sorry, suffering from burnout return in a week.'

"Actually, I'm still on life support. I just came by to do a feasibility study."

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

Medical Building Directory: Dr. Larry Nix, Dr. Sally Putty, etc..

"They've hiked up our targets again...I'm going to have to put in some overtime to have any chance of meeting them!"

"The tests confirms you have short-term memory loss."

Cardiac Recovery.

In many ways this is the perfect job! Out. Out.

Time for More Paperwork

Physician tending a mummy.

"I'm overpaid and underworked, but you don't see me complaining!"

"Now, let's get out there and walk really fast to places we don't want to be."

"Today we'll be performing some much needed maintenance on Miss Trimbles weak pelvic floor."

"Hope you don't mind, but I can't find my little hammer."