Healthcare Joke Fan Gifts

'You've got Finklestein's syndrome!' - 'Are you Finklestein?'

'The doctor will see you now.'

"Until the plaster sets, try not to laugh."

"I'm afraid we'll have to operate. Your appendix has an infection and it's extremely aggressive."

'Nurse, why is there always a fly in my ointment?'

Kid with plaster cast being sawn off.

"These are my fish cymbalta, otezla, skyrizi, vraylar and stelara!"

'Nurse, I said x-ray, not microwave.'

'Time for your pills.'

"You need the toilet. . . hang on I think I've got an app for that."

'Take two and call me from the Emergency room.'

The importance of paying attention in med school.

Dr. Flagg's Worst Nightmare

"We can give you enough medication to alleviate the pain, but not enough to make it fun."

'Could you stay out of the room for awhile, Nurse? -- Every time you walk in here, his testosterone levels surge.'

'Snap out of it.'

"I'd like to approve a second opinion but your HMO considers that experimental medicine."

'This could be a very expensive operation — I'm going to refer you to the Federal Government.'

"Norton! Put that back at once!"

'Have you heard about the new Medicare drug plan called plan C? Medicare gives you $30 for a bus ticket to Canada!'

'I think it's your colon. I came to that conclusion through the process of elimination.'

'The Doctor says you can be discharged - so I've brought you a list of jobs you can do when you get home!'

'Like I said - It's non invasive surgery.'

I don't care what happened on ER. This doctor patient relationship is not going to descend into unbridled passion.

'I'm sending you to see another doctor, he's a specialist in hyperchondria.'

'You do have catastrophic insurance, but it only applies in case of invasion from outer space.'

'You need some stress.'

Flyingdoctor's receptionist.

Fish swimming around inside drip.

"Your bedside health care book ... thanks for not reading it."

"Yes, I have seen people in worse health than you. But, they were all dead."

"I've heard that your medication can grow extra nipples, but I wouldn't worry about that if I were you..."

'Brain surgery, Harold? Have you lost your mind?!'

Nurse holding giant pill tells patient, 'Relax. It's chewable.'

Pharmaco. He writes drug side effect warnings. Ah, a health scare provider.